Posts Tagged: Tickle Tywin

Seaham Regional 2016 – Top 8


Regional season has started! Well it started a month ago, but they were in the South and therefore not worthy of my time. This was my first tournament where I was representing two Thrones teams, the Port Street Elite (Wedge, Arwel and myself) and Team England (Wedge, Dave Bamford and Josh Chambers).

We were ready to intentionally draw our way to the cut, talk in a cliquey manner between rounds about the merits of First Edition, and – most importantly – use our Small Council baubles to police the tone of those hawks online when they’re talking shite.

The Deck

The plan for this Regional was to play Martyrell, as they’re two houses I haven’t had much experience with so far in 2.0, and I had a list ready to take to Port Street. Then I lost faith in it on the drive home from work, kept the Banner cards and made it main house Lannister like a try hard.

The idea was Lannister and Tyrell good stuff, with a slight Knights sub theme, because really I am boring player and deck builder who’s just not very good. It did okay in testing, only losing one game against a Greyjoy Fealty deck it had already beaten twice when I was five pints in and not getting the luck of the draw.

I would type the decklist out, but really, who cares?

Round 1 – Dave Bamford – Baratheon – Banner of the Kraken

Disastrous start for Team England, as we were drawn against each other. This is also a bad start because Dave and I are supposed to play each other in 5th round “win and ins”. 2.0 has absolutely no respect for First Edition traditions. Anyway, Dave and I both go for the risky one character setup, Tywin with a Green Dreams attached and Asha Greyjoy. Neither of us March to the Wall turn one, however, I did get to use my Green Dreams earlier than I would have liked as Tywin got hit with some Filthy Accusations.

With Tywin locked down for a round, I Traded with the Pentoshi and went first to fill out the board. Dave got his kneel on the go with Melisandre on the board, which took out either The Hound or Tyrion. Then stuck a Stinking Drunk on Tywin, locking him out of next turn as well. Great start.

I did my best to recover board position in turn two, but Dave got a Lightbringer‘d Robert Baratheon out on the table and another Stinking Drunk on Tywin. With kneel at critical mass, and Bob defending challenges for fun, there was not a lot I could do.

Turn three  I draw into a kill, but Robert gets a dupe, and Stannis hits the board. Tywin has participated in precisely zero challenges, The Tickler isn’t hitting anything, and given the number of knelt characters Gregor isn’t having the best time of things either.

Before long, Bamford has convincingly won.

Round 2 – Ash Eddon – Targaryen – Banner of the Lion

After a fairly terrible start, I console myself with the fact a 4-1 can still make the cut, and if Dave plays like he did against me for the rest of the day, I’ll probably have a decent strength of schedule. Ash was all over me in the early exchanges of this game, we both had Jaime on the board, but he had far more supporting characters backing him up.

I only just survived in round two thanks to a well timed Nightmares on a Storm of Swords turn, and even with a Wildfire Assault in turn three I was still struggling for board parity, had Ash drawn into a kill event or Khal Drogo, I would have been done for.

I managed to Much and More into a Western Fiefdom for a bit of much needed economy, and then drew Tywin Lannister. Ash let slip that he had to play his own Wildfire Assault soon, so I went into lockdown mode. For the next few turns I threw everything in the way of Ash’s challenges, and trying to stop his Jaime winning too many military challenges, and build a board around getting Tywin out, and keeping him and Jaime around.

I saved my Marched to the Wall to fire turn seven at the same time as Wildfire. leaving me going first with Jaime and Tywin against Ash’s Jaime and a lesser character. I top deck Gregor Clegane and Put to the Sword. With the tide fully turned in my favour, I had ground out a win from the edge.

Round 3 – Craig – Lannister – Lord of the Crossing

This was a fun game, I setup a duped Hound and a weenie of some kind, then opened up with Trading with the Pentoshi versus A Noble Cause. I go first and use my Trading gold to marshal a duped Tywin Lannister and a Tickler. My opponent does exactly the same in his marshalling phase, neat.

Given the stalemate in board positions, we both elect not to do any challenges and go straight to Dominance. As first player, I give my Tickler a spin and hit Tywin. Ouch. It’s difficult when such a random swing happens like this, because you have to look apologetic and earnest so as not to be a complete dickhead, but inside you feel like you’ve just pushed an seven year old boy out of a window and enjoyed it.

My opponent said this was a one in a million hit. I’m no expert in statistics, but I think realistically it’s more of a two in forty three hit. Still unlikely though, and a massive swing in my favour. Craig’s Tickler hits a Red Cloak, but I don’t have any on the board, so not a major deal.

Turn two, I have Ser Ilyn Payne in hand and go for Calling the Banners to get enough gold to pay for him. However, in quite a turn up of events, my opponent drops First Snow of Winter (with no 4 costers or above on the board) and I draw into Ser Gregor Clegane, who clearly takes priority when there aren’t going to be any 3 cost characters on the board in the challenges phase anyway.

Except for my Hound, who is still duped from setup. Seems legit.

Anyway, I go first and play Gregor, Craig marshals Cersei. The First Snow of Winter goes off and leaves Cersei on her own. She doesn’t last the military challenge. I swing the intrigue with Tywin and pass, with The Hound still standing.

Craig decides to play big with a I Never Bet Against my Family, and comes out big with Tyrion and Jaime. If I had that, I would’ve been tempted to use that satisfy military claim and keep big Cers about, but each to their own. Craig picks Jaime, forces the Hound back to hand with a military challenge and gets an intrigue away for free. Then he fucks off to the discard pile.

With just Gregor and Tywin on the board the chances of one of them being Marched to the Wall seemed pretty high. However, given that Ilyn Payne was still in hand, I was pretty confident I was going to kill whatever Craig marshalled as soon as he marshalled it anyway. From here I just ground out a win with the King’s Justice and a military challenges keeping the board small, and the lovely combo of Casterly Rock and Small Council Chambers (which I think is better than people are giving it credit for, just don’t play it against Greyjoy) closing the game.

Round 4 – Sternly, no – Night’s Watch – Fealty

At 2-1 I was feeling better about my prospects of making the cut, however I wasn’t that keen on playing against a very defensive Night’s Watch deck, especially not one that manages to get three Ranging Parties out very early on. However, I drew most of my renown characters, starting with Tywin, then following up with Randyll, Gregor and the Knight of Flowers.

Sternly was doing all kinds of Night’s Watch nonsense, throwing birds around and recovering them with Chett and had a reasonable board presence, just not quite enough to stop my big guys running about. If there’s one way of getting around a defence deck, it’s gaining loads of power from winning challenges.

Round 5 – Andy Hornby – Targaryen – Banner of the Lion

This was a very close game, which a win and in really should be. We were also deck checked, which put us about 10 minutes behind the rest of the field meant that by the end of the game we had quite an audience. I seem to play worse when people are watching me, or I play just as badly, but people point out my mistakes. Which then plays on my mind and I make further mistakes. The yips.

I see both of my Tears of Lys early in this game, which I use to take out a Dragon (meh, but attrition innit) and The Hound (Fuck yeah, him and Tyrion were causing many headaches for me), but generally Andy is coming out ahead.

By the time I get Tywin on the board, I’m facing down Mirri Maz Durr and Tyrion. Luckily though, I find my anti Mirri tech in the Red Cloaks and start to power them right up with the excess Tywin gold, I also manage to get a Knight of Flowers (plus a Little Bird) out, who kindly takes the “heat” off the Red Cloaks with a Crown of Gold.

I manage to win a clutch intrigue challenge when Andy miscalculates and goes in for 7 strength, not realising, that I haven’t moved a gold onto the Red Cloaks for the Challenges phase yet, meaning I can win on defence with a weenie and keep my good guys in play for retaliation.

With Tywin neutralising the Mirri threat even with Dracarys! lowering his strength, I manage to eek out a win with the Small Council Chamber, and renown slowly closing the game out. This was the closest a game going to time that I’d played all day, and I think I was quite lucky to get away with winning it.

At 4-1, I was definitely in the cut and had successfully pulled of the submarine. I was pretty pleased with the result.

Top  8 – Tom – Baratheon – Fealty

A high pressure game against Baratheon fealty, with kneel being the only thing I’ve lost to already today. This game was pretty much decided in turn one, I open with Trading against A Noble Cause, with Tywin, 3 other intrigue characters (TyrionArbor Knight and Brothel Madame) and Tears of Lys in hand. Robert and Fiery Followers hit the board, with the already setup Melisandre taking out Tywin.

Tom was playing first, gives me a gold for the Brothel Madame, and fires intrigue with the Fiery Followers. If I block the challenge with Tyrion, Robert can intimidate the Arbor Knight and defend my intrigue challenge with Melisandre, meaning I don’t get to Tears Robert. So I have to risk letting the challenge go unopposed and hope that the one in five chance that Tom doesn’t pick Tears.

He does pick the Tears for intrigue claim and my big chance at killing Robert Baratheon early has been missed. This is most likely karma for the lucky Tywin hit earlier in the day, so can’t complain too much about not getting lucky, as I almost definitely did just chance my way into the Top 8.

From there it was just really difficult to recover board position with Melisandre and Robert wrecking my face. I put up what I could to try and stay in the game, but it was just too much trying get around Tom’s huge board and his draw engine coming from the Red Keep. Well played to Tom.

Arwel, Dave and I all went out in the Top 8, Wedge continued his winning ways all the way to final.

Six Person Melee Banter

Given that Wedge and Even had made the finals, the rest of us poor souls who travel with these annoyingly good players were sat about with nothing better to do. Add in Josh and Dave who were hanging about for the banter, we had enough for a six person melee game. I usually hate melee, as I’m not very good at it, but given that everyone involved is hilarious and we were playing our Joust decks, it could only be fun.

In this game we had:

  • Josh – Night’s Watch – Lords of the Crossing
  • Tony – Martell – Lords of the Crossing
  • Me – Lannister – Banner of the Rose
  • Andrew – Lannister – Banner of the Dragon
  • Dave – Baratheon – Banner of the Kraken
  • Helen – Stark – Fealty

We didn’t manage to finish this game, because the final finished (Wedge won, the bastard) before we got chance and really everyone wanted to go home, but that didn’t stop everyone being a dick to each other for a good hour or so.

Before we even began, I managed to incur the wrath of Helen and Josh for considering putting Weapons at the Door in my plot deck instead of Trading with the Pentoshi, apparently that was bad banter, but I don’t really see a problem with it myself.

Some other things that happened in this game:

  • Andrew playing Game of Thrones to try and stop anyone doing anything.
  • Andrew plays a Treachery on Josh’s Kingsroad, with the gold I gave him from Trading.
  • Me introducing Bronn into the fray and missing my action window to buy him back at the end of marshalling.
  • Josh firing back with A Meager Contribution when Andrew counted income.
  • Dave kneeling my Hound for no good reason.
  • Helen dropping Varys and everyone being terrified of Varys.
  • Me throwing an Intrigue challenge and Tony, and then another intrigue challenge with a banter Olenna’s Informant. Tony forgetting to use The Long Plan.
  • Me playing Much and More to try and find a Nightmares, but also to slow the game down giving everyone cards..
  • My Tickler being the one chance of stopping Varys ruining everyone’s day.
  • Tony Nightmares‘ing the Tickler to dick me over, rather than stopping Varys.
  • All looking lost (as I was going to March anybody left after Varys) until Dave Nightmares Varys.
  • Josh playing Trading to give everyone three gold.
  • Fucking Andrew using another Treachery, stopping my Kingsroad going off. This was an attempt to stop me being able to afford Jaime, when I had 7 gold left. Varys, Melisandre and Nymeria were still on the board at this point.
  • Me going first and winning as many intrigue challenges as possible to secure second place with the Small Council Chamber. Then everybody else won power challenges against me.
  • Josh baiting Andrew into doing a military challenge against him then, Josh ambushing in Allister Thorne and then Watcher on the Walls‘ing to kill all the attacking characters.
  • Everyone wanting to leave, but also finish that challenges phase.
  • Tony winning.
  • Josh getting the last action of the game kneeling Northern Rookery with Halder to give a Steward plus one strength.

Meagre Contributions

  • Thank you to Games of War, Seaham, for hosting a well run tournament. Also thank you for having all your stock severly reduced because the store is closing. That meant I could pick up Wolves of the North for bargain.
  • Thanks to all my opponents, you were lovely.
  • Team England – Josh, Wedge & Dave – 3/4 in the top cut! Who knows where our ceiling is with Thrones?
  • Port Street Elite – Arwel & Wedge – 3/3 in the top cut! Who knows where our ceiling is with Thrones?
  • Wedge for being good bants in the approx 5 hours we spent going Manchester -Seaham – Manchester in one day.
  • No thanks to Wedge for winning, meaning we were some of the last to leave.
  • Even, Tony, Helen and Andrew for bringing Scottish bantz south of the border.
  • And of course, you the reader, for enabling this nonsense. I’ll see you next week for the Stoke regional.

Just one last thing…

Mach's Thrones Book

Coming soon…

Stoke Store Championship – Top 8 – 3rd in Swiss

I did quite well at a tournament on Sunday, and it’s been awhile since I’ve actually published a tournament report. Mostly as a result of the report becoming wider in scope than just the tournament itself (see the unpublished reports from Batalla, Dockside Brothel, Weekender Part 2 Blackwater Bay, UK Nationals and Stahleck), and me not pulling up any trees on at a tournament (see the unpublished reports from Batalla, Dockside Brothel, Weekender Part 2, Blackwater Bay, UK Nationals and Stahleck).

Still people seem to enjoy reports when they actually make it past the big orange publish button and don’t just wallow in a load of half written jokes. With the weekender coming up, this fairly simple report should be enough of a warm up to writing a strong TR, mainly just to see if the magic is still there.

The Deck

Before the Burnley Store Championship a few weeks ago, I got told off by Wedge for always playing the same glass cannon Greyjoy deck that was easy (Seastone Chair + Balon = Win, disruption to that or go past Round 3 = Lose), but didn’t play up to my experience or knowledge of the game that I could use to my advantage against those filthy new 2.0 players.

That is 1st edition snobbery. I hate all the new players (and potential friends) and want to keep the game exclusive to the people I already know and like. If you are a new player give up, you’ll never be good enough and stop ruining the game for us veterans.

So having been called on my laziness, Wedge and I built a new deck for the Burnley SC. It was Martell Banner of the Lion and it was quite bad. The ideas were there, but my execution was severely lacking. I think I came 12th, which was quite poor when the rest of the Manchester meta in attendance made up three of the top four.

As a creature of laziness, before going to Port Street for Wednesday night Thrones I made a few quick changes to the deck, switiching around the main house and Banner, and came up with the far superior Lannister Banner of the Sun. Given a few more runs out on a Wednesday and a new chapter pack to slip a cheeky Gregor into the deck. I was fairly happy with the build.

After showing the list to Wedge on the Saturday before the tournament, he recommended switiching out the dupes of Pycelle and Caleotte and putting in a copy of Here To Serve for a Maester on demand. This was very good advice, and a move I hadn’t previously considered. Mostly out of stubbornness that I’d never owned the chapter pack with At the Gates in it in 1st Edition, and therefore had never built a deck using it. I’d be damned if I was changing that now (I did change that).

Anyway the deck looked something like this (typing from memory, so if there aren’t 60 cards in there it’s because of that, not cheating honest):


1x Marched to the Wall
1x Calm over Westeros
1x Wildfire Assault
1x A Noble Cause
1x Here to Serve
1x Summons
1x Calling the Banners


3x Lannister Reducer Weenie
3x Martell Reducer Weenie
3x Tywin Lannister
3x Tyrion Lannister
3x Bastard Daughter
2x Cersei Lannister
2x Jaime Lannister
2x Nymeria Sand
2x The Hound
2x Brothel Madame
1x Maester Caleotte
1x Grand Maester Pycelle
1x Edric Dayne
1x Syrio Forel
1x Gregor Clegane
1x The Tickler
1x (nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh, nah nah!) Arianne, Arianne, Arianne, Ari-Ari Arianne


3x Roseroad
3x Kingsroad
3x Western Fiefdoms
2x Sunspear
2x Cersei’s Wheelhouse
2x Casterly Rock
2x Lannisport


2x Widow’s Wail


2x Hand’s Judgement
2x Put to the Sword
2x Tears of Lys
2x Treachery

Round 1 – ??? – Targaryen – Banner of the Lion

I’m terribly sorry that I’ve forgotten the name of my round 1 (and probably everyone else) opponent. He was Manchester meta, but not proper Manchester meta because he can’t come to Port Street on a Wednesday due to work and he can’t be a proper player because he didn’t play 1st Edition.

But this was a fun game. Turn one my Tywin got hit with a Heads on Spikes, which made me very sad, but I managed to hold of the Smash Brothers with a well timed Brothel Madame. I got a military challenge of my own off, killing a chud and leaving Drogo, Jaime, and Tyrion on my opponents board. Then I hit Drogo with a Tears of Lys, and went into Round 2 with a Marched to the Wall.

My opponent (again sorry) fought back by bringing Dany onto the table but it was tough for him to recover from losing two big characters so early on and I managed to push through for the win.

Round 2 – Josh – Lannister – No Agenda

I got to sit downstairs at the big table for this one so that was nice. My Tywin got Tickled in the dominance phase turn 1, so that was less nice. With just The Hound on the board with a Widow’s Wail on him, I was so positive that my opponent was going to March that I flipped my own March, hoping to take 2 of his bodies down with one of mine. Josh played Confiscation and congratulations, you played yourself. I recovered with a duped Tyrion who managed to survive the military challenge, and then I used a nice combo of Calling the Banners into Wildfire to put big characters (Nymeria, Cersei and Syrio) on my board against Josh’s board of mainly weenies. Josh’s deck stalled out and I squeezed out another win.

Round 3 – Ryan Wood (edit, not the Southern one) – Targaryen ???

I honestly have no idea what happened in this game, and I can only apologise for that. So let’s say that it was a very close game where I got lucky with my deck, and really didn’t deserve to win but somehow came out on top. This is a reminder to take notes at tournaments.

I’ve come back with a memory of what happened in this game!

It actually was very close and evenly matched. Late on in the game, I put out Joffrey, and then Wildfired my own  Milked Tywin and Cersei for a power rush. If I hadn’t have been stupid, I wouldn’t have returned Arianne to hand in the previous challenge phase and would’ve won outright there and then. But I’m not that clever.

Anyway, knowing that I’m going to be losing an intrigue challenge, I ambush the Widow’s Wail onto Joffrey which puts him out of contention for Dracarys! I’d love for this to be a conscious decision, but I literally hadn’t even thought about until my opponent brought it up after the game.

With Arianne on the board, my opponent couldn’t afford to military me, because it would give me the extra power to win. In my challenges I got to use The Hound for a military challenge, bounced to hand, then Arianne for an intrigue and then bounce her to bring The Hound back out for the winning power challenge.

Round 4 – Big Mike/The Sellout – Night’s Watch – Lord’s of the Crossing

As it often happens, I have a history beating Big Mike when I really didn’t deserve to. Back in 1st Ed I did a double over him in a Lannister Knights mirror match, despite him having exponentially (I know this isn’t the correct use of exponentially but suck it maths nerds) more knights than me. I’ve just gone back to try and find the post where this happens and it was sat unfinished in the drafts folder. SHAME. EDIT: This post does exist here.

Anyway, I hadn’t properly read Lords of the Crossing before now, because only a square would turn up at a tournament knowing what an opponent could possibly do in a game. It also seemed like all of Mike’s other opponents were as cool as me, because he’d battered them before they knew what was happening as well.

I get quite a few tools to keep Mike’s hand empty in the early stages of the game (mainly through locations), and decide that I can probably play slowly and stall the game out for a win. While this was partially successful, Mike did have an empty hand by the end of the game, it didn’t matter because he also had fifteen power.

He jumped up power quickly with a Street of Silk, a successful Heads on Spikes pull for Jaime and a gift of 2 power from me Wildfire Assaulting his Benjen Stark. This was the one time all game where I got Gregor out and he killed some Messenger Ravens, I’d much have prefered him to pillage a 3 cost character. I also gifted him the win, by not putting Pycelle into an innocuous power challenge, saving him for the second guaranteed win Intrigue and draw), when Mike had A Clash of Kings revealed to take him to the win. BAD JACK, BAD. 3-1.

Round 5 – Nice Josh – Targaryen Banner of the Rose

Josh has written up this game over on CardgameDB, and this post is likely to be a paraphrase of that with added self deprecation. I’ll contest this statement from that report though:

“Jack was a very good 1st Edition player”

Which anyone who’s ever played against me, or read one of these reports will know that this is simply not true.

I had a pretty awful setup hand, so I mulliganed into an even worse setup hand. Leaving lovely Nymeria out there alone to get Marched to the Wall. But I did managed to get my Sunspear and Cersei’s Wheelhouse combo on the board making initiative decisions more difficult. Anyway, I got my Lannister boys out (TywinTyrionJaime) and then Big Tiz ate a Crown of Gold. Luckily though I had the draw to follow up with Cersei. In the final round Josh made a mistake by trying to do a challenge against me. Meaning I had enough power icons standing to win the final blue challenge and close the game.

So at 4-1, I was pretty happy with my day and ready for the cut. When the standings were announced I was pleasantly surprised to be in third place.

Top 8 – Mike Horan – Targaryen Banner of the Sun

There seems to be a lot of Targ going at the moment, weird. Wonder if they’re faction plot card will empower burn or not. Some people seem to think it’s a reprint of Threat from the North, which if true is going to boil so much piss on CardgameDB. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Anyway, Top 8 and I was thinking about driving back to Manchester in time to cook a roast dinner. I was on the backfoot for just about all of this game. I started with Cersei and some other intrigue weenies, and Casterly Rock and looked ready to really do damage to Mike’s hand. Then Cersei got MilkedJaime got Nymeria’d and my dreams got crushed.

I held off on my reset wanting use Calling the Banners to level the board instead. But holding off two military challenges a turn and having enough to fight back with was too difficult. Cersei ate a Dracarys! And even with Gregor taking the Nymeria heat off Jaime and Tywin, I couldn’t whittle down Mike’s board to regain control of the game.

I think I made some really poor decisions here with Sunspear and Nymeria, for example taking a military icon when Syrio was on the board, that perhaps if I actually thought about challenge maths and did sums in my head might’ve played out differently. But playing the game well does not interest me. I also had the choice of leaving two cards in my hand Desert Scavenger and a game changing Put to the Sword, or kneeling a Desert Scavenger to play the Desert Scavenger. I went banterous, and the PTTS, went for intrigue claim.

Justifying this in the car afterwards, had I kept both, I had to hope that the Scavenger, went for intrigue claim, kill the Scavenger in play and another (good) character for military claim. Then put all my guys into a military challenge that I wasn’t guaranteed to win by 5 given the opponents board presence just to get the PTTS off. Go for the banter.

By the seventh plot, it was clear which way the wind was blowing, and then the unthinkable happened! A double Marched. The dream. Literally everytime me and my opponent setup two characters each I always say “DOUBLE MARCHED” and it never happens. But even though the double Marched did me over (Bye Gregor, bye Jaime). I then drew a Roseroad and Tears of Lys. Good game, and I’m back on the M6 thinking about honey mustard parsnips.

Meager Contributions

Thanks go to:

  • Eddie and Steve for putting on a great tournament at GTG
  • All my opponents, particularly those whose names I can’t remember
  • Wedge for having a bad day, as that always makes my day better.
  • The banter from the Sheffield lads, excluding the Anti-Banter himself, Matt Cannon.
  • You, lovely reader, for reading this.


Bloody hell, over 2000 words on what was supposed to be a small unambitious write up. I’ll hopefully be back next week with a two part write up of shenanigans from the Manchester and Stockton SC’s.

Also, if you liked reading this, but was thinking I wish there was less Thrones and more Professional Wrestling, why not check out The “K” Word?